Chicago P.D. 4×13 “I Remember Her Now” Recap

Spoilers Ahead 

Raise your hand if the beginning of this episode made you extremely uncomfortable, but all the plaid made it somewhat better.

Case Summary: When a 15-year-old is found brutally murdered, the unit learns that she comes from a school known for dealing with mischievous kids. In order to figure out what goes on behind closed doors, Jay must go undercover, where he’ll experience even more traumatic events.

Review | Analysis: “I Remember Her Now” was a risk to take, but it’s one that I’m slightly pleased the series has targeted. No matter how uncomfortable it made me (seriously, I was very uncomfortable), it was a raw depiction of the nastiness in our world. And nastiness isn’t a word that’s used often here because it’s one of my least favorite words to use for how demeaning it is. And that’s what this case showcased — the horrors that people will succumb underage girls to for money. An episode like this is never easy to watch, but it was fascinating to see Jesse Lee Soffer take Jay out of his normal element and into something we’ve yet to see from him. It was fascinating to see good win. It was fascinating to see these girls find a proper home.

Most Noteworthy Performance: Jesse Lee Soffer is one of the most underrated actors on television right now. Soffer’s brilliant showcase of Jay’s innermost thoughts and feelings has often been a gift on Chicago P.D., but in “I Remember Her Now” Soffer gave the audience something different. When you watched him interact with Ellie, Soffer gave Jay’s discomfort his all. And when he tried to get closer to find out the truth, it was clear this was taking a lot of out of him. All throughout the episode, Soffer didn’t miss a single beat, you knew this was tearing Jay apart and wearing him down. While that raw discomfort would’ve been enough to showcase fantastic acting, it was the work he did back at the unit that floored me. When Jay makes it clear that nothing happened in Brady, Soffer holds nothing back. He goes with full force weaved intricately with a restraint that’s clearly stemmed from the pain and disbelief. And in response to “no one here is accusing you”, Jay firing back with “it also doesn’t sound like anyone’s defending me” was the spectacle of exceptional performance. In that moment, Soffer was at his strongest — baring frustration, disappointment, and agony with ample pain in his voice and weariness in his posture. If it wasn’t already clear that this case took everything out of Jay, Soffer crystallizes it faultlessly in this moment. It was incredibly upsetting that someone as noble as Jay even had to defend himself, but because this was an impeccable exhibition of Soffer’s abilities as an actor, it makes it less frustrating.

Most Exquisite Moment: Platt’s choice to claim Sam after learning that there’s absolutely no one else was a gorgeous display of how devoted this team is to justice, and the people who need them. Platt may be tough, but her heart is as colossal as it gets. And to follow through with Sam’s “will” made for a great ending with Voight joining her. Chicago’s skyline with the ashes falling into the water was stunning — everlasting and profound. It’s scenes like this that ultimately reveal not only how caring this team truly is, but the strange, beauty that comes after an ending. The idea that no harm can ever come to a person again. It’s a nice thought to hold onto, and it was a lovely way to end such a dark episode. It was the perfect reminder of the fact that even though there are horrible people in the world who’ll bring pain to people, there are great people who’ll always fight for them.

Worth Mentioning:

• PETITION TO KEEP JAY HALSTEAD IN PLAID ALL DAY, EVERY DAY.
• Though a brief moment, I loved the physical representation of Erin having Jay’s back. As something that’s been an emblem in their relationship from day one, drawing back to it at a time like this beautifully displays just how devoted they are to one another as partners — on and off the field. It was short and subtle, but gorgeously significant for the two. Jay leaning back towards the wall and Erin’s hand immediately following was a poetic showcase of the fact that it’s all over, she’s got him, and he can finally breathe again. She can finally breathe again. We’ve watched Jay fall apart, but to imagine how Erin must have felt knowing how much this would affect him is a whole different story. When you love someone, the wounds they carry becomes yours to bare, too. And director Rodriguez’s choice to focus on the movement of her hand served as the kind of ephemeral display of adoration we needed to see. I wanted more. It’s safe to assume a lot of people would feel the same way, but on its own, this scene succeeded to exhibit profound emotions. With Erin taking control of the case following their discovery, their partnership was on full display as unbeatable.

• Also, we can’t not talk about Jay’s sweet smile when Ellie asked if Erin was his girlfriend. And that smile spoke wonders — radiating that she’s not only his girlfriend, but his everything, the one thing that makes it all a little less daunting, and his happiness effortlessly everlasting. And for the first time in presumably a long time, Ellie was able to understand that there are men in this world who genuinely care to make a difference — men who’ll never hurt women. There are officers in this world who’ll get people like her out of the mess they’ve found themselves in. There are officers who do their jobs because justice is important to them.
• Again, can we keep Jay Halstead in plaid all the time? Please and thank you. I don’t think this is asking for much.

What are your thoughts on this week’s episode?